Tuesday, June 30, 2015


In college, there is just this huge pressure to get involved and go do stuff. In high school, there was some of that pressure, but it wasn't as bad as in college. In high school, you could just choose some fun electives and that was about it in terms of getting involved. In college, if you don't get involved, it's almost like, "What are you doing with your life?" I have the perfect example of this. My first semester I didn't really do much, I just kinda got the feel for college. Then my second semester rolls around and my friend decides she wants to rush a sorority and wants me to do it with her. She somewhat sprung this decision on me, so I told her to find sororities that I might like, and I would reach out to them and see about rushing later. I reached out to one sorority and they told me to rush in the fall, but a few weeks later got back to me and said that they had room for more girls and would love to meet with me and talk. I ended up talking with two girls and they offered me a bid the next day. Deep down, I knew I didn't really want to join a sorority, but I figured that I would join and hopefully change my mind. So I accepted the bid and joined four weeks into the semester. Now, I normally do not like jumping into things right away,  I like to ease in and get a feel for everything. But college is the time for stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things. I just went along with everything, but there were still hesitations in the back of my mind. I went to the first new member meeting and all the girls were welcoming, but that was about it. I didn't feel this huge connection. Plus, these girls had four weeks on me of getting to know one another and the rest of the girls in the sorority. I always have been shy and kept to myself, and I thought that joining the sorority would change that and I would be able to make so many friends and start making the college experience that I wanted. Boy, was I wrong. As I previously mentioned, all these girls had four weeks on me, so they had all already created their friendship bonds, some that intimidated me and some that I knew I wouldn't get with these girls. So I accepted that and moved on, hoping to find my place within the sorority. As time went on, I just found it harder and harder to go to the required events. I had no motivation to go. Why would I want to go somewhere that I didn't feel happy? I kept telling myself to give it time and things would get better, but they never did. I finally met one girl that I had some common likes with, so we became friends. Then, shortly after, we got our bigs in the sorority, and that made me happy because I knew that I was getting someone who could hopefully change my outlook on the sorority since it wasn't looking too good. I got the girl I wanted and the friend that I made was part of our family. That was the happiest I was in the sorority. Then I really started to notice that I wasn't as happy as I thought I should be. I was using the two friends that I had as my "comfort blanket," meaning that I wouldn't do anything unless they were there. What kind of experience would I get if I just kept following these two girls around? They also had their own group of friends within the sorority, and I again felt out of place because I would never have the same bonds as the rest of the girls do. So finally I decided that I just couldn't do this anymore. I was tired of being somewhere that didn't make me happy. I was tired of feeling out of place and alone in a group of girls that were supposedly the friendliest girls. Nobody really went out of their way to talk to me, but I never did either. I just knew that the sorority wasn't the place for me, and the more I think about it and look back on it, I never really wanted to join in the first place. So now I am getting out of it, and I know that this is the best decision for me. I'm not going to spend the rest of my time in college not being happy. After coming to this decision, I felt lighter, knowing that I no longer have to go do things that I don't want to do. But now I am back to where I was at the start of my second semester, what do I do? I see people tweeting about parties or hanging out with their friends that they have made. I've made a few friends outside the sorority, but they both have their own thing to do. I just don't want to go through college and not make any friends. So for now, I am just enjoying the rest of my summer before school starts up and I go back to school and try and find where I belong. I know that I belong somewhere on campus, I just have to go find it.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Summer 2015

Okay, I am terrible at maintaining a blog, or anything for that matter. I kept telling myself I need to blog, I need to blog. Buutttt, that never happens. Now that it is summer and I have more free time, I am going to try this blog thing again. I started a whole other website/blog site thing, but I made one post and never got back to it. So, I'll probably delete it and stick to just using blogger. I am going to start keeping a journal of blog post ideas so that I can try my hardest to keep this up and running. Hopefully after posting more and more will help me continue to blog.


Friday, December 12, 2014


We live in a world so caught in technology. Everyone walks around with a phone either gluded to their hands, eyes trained on their device, not looking up. Granted, I am guilty of this, big time. And who is to blame all of us who want to stay connected. Maybe, some of use feel safer with our phones on us, being able to use it as an escape to a world where we can hide behind a piece of glass and a keyboard, carrying on electric conversations with people who could be 2 feet, 2 miles, 200 miles, or whatever away. Gone is the world where people actually picked up the phone and now is the time where nobody wants to talk on the phone and carry on an actual conversation with people. Now, it is about checking our Twitter or Facebook feeds to see what other people are up to, maybe jealously wishing that we could take away the social awkwardness and actually go have fun adventures like seen on Facebook feeds. There are times where I just want to disconnect, but I have gotten so accustomed to having the safety net of my phone that I can't seem to get rid of it. We have just become a super connected society and that most likely won't change anytime soon.

I recently read an article online that said that teenagers are going to have serious back problems when they get older. Scratch that, they are starting to have back problems now. Because teenagers spend so much time looking down at their phones, it is putting a strain on their necks. That also is affecting their posture, being hunched over their phones/tables/computers. Even I have noticed that my back and neck are pretty sore, so I've been trying to limit my technology use, or even try to sit up straighter, but old habits die hard. The thing is, the habit of being hunched over isn't even that old. Maybe four or five years old, but just doing it repeatedly for that many years can make it hard to change. At this rate, who's to say that we won't be looking like cavemen, walking with our knuckles dragging on the ground? The picture showing evolution could look like a mirror image of itself one day, with man slowly starting to resort back to cavemen.

So here's to the future. Who knows what the future holds? We could end up seeing how connected to technology we are and try and fix that, or we could become so reliant on it, more so than we are now, that we become fat, useless, society members who sit around and video chat each other, just like the people of Wall-E. Let's hope it doesn't get to that point.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Sweet 16

6 more days. It may seem like no amount of time, but for one girl who is waiting to turn 16, it can be a very long time. That's right, in 6 days, I will be turning 16! I'm so excited. My parents told me that after 18 you will want to turn back the clock. I agree with them, but at the same time have to tell them that I am not yet 18, I am only turning 16. Yeah I know the day will come where I turn 18, buts that is not for 2 more years. So let's not dwell on that. I am super excited for this weekend. A bunch of my friends and I are going to a dinner comedy show! It is supposed to be really funny so I am really excited! To get to my party, I have to deal with FCAT writes. No big deal, I am a good writer and will pass. This is nothing to stress over and my English teacher has been preparing us for it.

Monday, January 23, 2012

I Am Poem

We were asked to do an I Am Poem in English class for our Alpha-Biography and I think mine is pretty good(: Here it is:

I am a band geek and red headed.

I wonder what people think of me.

I hear my bed calling my name during school.

I see the clock at school moving faster.

I want another cat.

I am band geek and red headed.

I pretend that I can sing.

I feel happy to be blessed with amazing friends.

I touch my phone to make sure its still there.

I worry that my hair is messed up.

I cry when my heart gets broken.

I am band geek and red headed.

I understand that I can’t always get what I want.

I say what is on my mind.

I dream that one day I will find someone who makes me happy.

I try to do my best at everything I do.

I hope that people judge me on my personality and not my looks,

I am band geek and red headed.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Mardi Gras

Wow! Mardi Gras is AMAZING! Standing in the crowds hoping to catch beads is one thing but standing up on the float throwing beads is so different. Last night my family and I (along with a family friend) got to be on the King and Queen float at Universal Studios Mardi Gras. After a while your arms starts to hurt so you quickly try to switch your throwing arm without the guests getting really angry. Since we were up high it was hard to get all the little kids in the front who had a few beads around their neck. At one point we stopped and we still had to throw beads. We were told to be halfway through the beads by the halfway point. Unfortunately, I was halfway through before the halfway point so I tried to slow down but it is really hard. People started to scream louder and jump to try to get my attention for more beads. Luckily, our bead captain came around and gave us more beads. Before we got on the float we were told to get rid of all the beads. By the time we got halfway I was trying to keep throwing beads so we ran out but not to run out until the very end. The parade was done so quickly I hadn't realized that 45 minutes had gone by. I am so glad that we got to do this again and I hope to do it again next year! :)

Friday, March 26, 2010

Mardi Grad

Tomorrow night my family and I get to be in the Mardi Gras parade at Universal Studios. This is not the first time that we will be in the parde. Last year we were in the parade and it was really cool. I just hope that my dad wil feel better since he slept most of today. I am so exicted!!!!!